Biggest culture shock for Europeans & Americans when they arrive in India?

by Peter Claridge, Marketing guy @ Unmetric.com

I arrived in India in 2008 and still haven't left.

Everyone experiences India differently and these are just some personal accounts. I have learned that you can't make any generalisations about the country because you'll be so wrong. Even when you are right. That's just India :-)

It was 2008. I was 25, living with housemates in London, and I was coming to India for three months. When I had left England 12 hours earlier, I had taken myself to the airport and sent an SMS to my parents to say "bye".

I arrived very early one January morning in Chennai. I stepped out from the airport arrivals gate and froze. It was 2am in the morning and there were people everywhere. Standing, sitting, lying down. There wasn't a single space that wasn't occupied by a human being. What were they all doing here?

Here in India, if someone is going overseas, EVERYONE comes to see them off. If that person is returning, EVERYONE comes to the airport to greet them.*

* Ahem. See my note above about making generalisations and being wrong.

That was my first culture shock. The amount of people everywhere. I still struggle with that at times.

My second culture shock happened on the road out of the airport. Bullock carts, hand pulled carts and tuk-tuks (err, autos) all over the place. Motorbikes driving the on the wrong side of the road. My host was bombing down the road in his Maruti 800AC, honking his horn at stray cows, pot holes and inanimate objects.

My third culture shock happened when I arrived at my host's home (he was 30) and his parents answered the door. It was still about 3am in the morning and his mother was wearing a smart red saree, gold jewellery and had cooked dinner for me.

My fourth culture shock happened a few hours later when a lady entered the room I was sleeping in and started cleaning and sweeping up. I understood that in a middle class household, all the house work was done by hired help. About a week into my stay I asked to use their washing machine to do some laundry. The mother shouted to the maid who was in the kitchen and she took my pile of clothes and instead hand washed everything in the bathroom. Then a boy came along to pick up my clothes to be taken to the ironing man.

Several weeks into my stay I found out a girl in the office who was about the same age as me was resigning because her parents had found a groom for her. They asked her to leave her job so that she could prepare for her marriage. I found out that she had met the groom-to-be once and had agreed because her parents were happy with his family.

At the time I couldn't process this and I remember it stressed me out that this educated girl who led a team of developers was giving up on her career to be a housewife. Eight years on, I've come to terms with it and I LOVE going to Indian weddings

About a year later my Mum came to India to see how her wayward son was getting on (very well, as it turned out). We had planned a trip to Kerala (the most beautiful of states, you have to visit). The Indian Mother, (who I mentioned earlier), insisted that we take a fat wad of cash with us for emergencies. She handed me a brick of notes and said there was 25,000 rupees. It was a shock to see her get angry that we didn't count it out infront of her to confirm that there was 25,000 rupees. I don't know if it's just me, but if someone hands me some money, I find it rude to count it infront of that person.

I've spent most of my time in Chennai and visited places like Kerala, Goa, Mumbai, Bangalore, Hyderabad and Gurgaon. In that limited amount of travel, I always found India to have more economic prosperity than it gets credited for in the West. Yes, there are pockets of poverty, but in Chennai and Bangalore at least, I find them to be a pretty prosperous cities.

A few years back I went to Jaipur and while driving through - and out of - the city I saw a side of India that you'll see on National Geographic. Families living on the street. Kids playing on the rubbish dumps. Everything reflected a grinding poverty. That was shocking for me to see because like I said, up until then I had experienced a prosperous, middle and upper middle-class India.

25/02 EDIT: Culture shock can happen to me even when I visit other cities. About three years ago I went to Mumbai for the first time. In Chennai, I find the vibe to be conservative and laid back. The tallest buildings are just 13 stories. When I landed in Mumbai my mouth dropped and I gawped all the way from the airport to the hotel at all the massive skyscrapers (India Bulls tower - WOW!). After living in Chennai, Mumbai was so unexpected for me.

Even after eight years in Chennai, I still experience culture shock. Recently, I was in a situation that drove home the idea that in India, family is EVERYTHING. I was visiting another city with my wife (who I met in Chennai).

My wife happens to have extended family in the city we were visiting but we decided to stay in a hotel and arrange to meet up with her family for a dinner or something so that we didn't impose.

BIG MISTAKE!

Once her family found out that we were in the city and staying in a hotel instead of with them, they went balistic. From what I could tell, we had commited the ultimate offense by not staying with them. I think (I can't be sure) that by staying in a hotel we were implying that their apartment wasn't good enough for us to stay in.

Had it been in England, I can only think of the horror my extended family would have had if we turned up on their doorstep and expected a bed and food for the next few days!

I hope none of these personal accounts be taken as a criticism of India. I'm really happy here, have met the best people and have a great life.

I'm positive India hasn't run out of ways to surprise, shock and delight me!