10 Things Only A Corporate Hippie Can Relate To

1. Take an overcrowded metro to central Delhi from Gurgaon and make your way to Paharganj.

Try booking a room in one of the cheap hotels but get rejected by several owners because you are an Indian citizen. Then prove to them that you are not a resident of Delhi, thanks to your voter ID (because that's really all it's useful for).

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2. While at a shady bar, come up with an itinerary of where you want to go.

This activity becomes a mess and you decide to go where the wind takes you, only that...you're not a bird. You realise you are not hippie enough and decide to trawl Paharganj in search of droopy pants and T-shirts smeared with Hindu symbolism and peace signs. 'Sweg' (Indian pronounciation of 'swag') man, 'Sweg'.

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3. Take a bus to Kasol, because everybody knows that's where you get the good stuff. Even better than what the auto wallah got you in Paharganj.

The Parvati river cackling, churning and frothing by your feet, you ask yourself why you haven't done this before. You feel at peace and you completely forget that your boss is judging you for suddenly taking two weeks off. 

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You feel spiritual and decide to take a dip in the hot water spring at the Manikaran Sahib Gurudwara which is a 6 km hike away. The langar is pure, considering the rice is cooked in the water of the hot spring.

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4. Trek to Tosh.

You smell the whiff of marijuana as you trek uphill through the forest. Your legs are killing you and you wish you took that cab for 200 bucks which now seems like a great bargain. The promise of good stuff keeps you going.

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You arrive and the town is bustling with Europeans and Israelis. Signs are in English, Hebrew and French, as you wonder if you've stepped into another dimension where liberal Europeans live in peace and harmony with humble mountain folk. The delicious European and Israeli food makes you immediately forget your craving for rajma chawal.

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While taking a long walk to admire the mountain scenery, you're secretly doing something else ;)

5. Trek to Pulga.

You are captivated by the tea plantations with the backdrop of the Himalayas. "If there is a heaven, this is it", you keep saying. "Wait till you see Kheerganga", says a Dutch man with long dread locks. Little does he know you're high as f**k. You dream of heaven as the group of foreigners sit in a circle and sing of praises to the gods. 

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While browsing the flea markets, you realise the same stuff sold at Delhi Haat and Sarojini Market are way cheaper here. 

6. Trek to Kheerganga.

You return to Kasol by cab (cheating!) first because this is the easiest trek according to sources on the internet. Nevertheless, you are pooped after the four-hour steep climb on narrow and tricky trails. Luckily for you, the geo-thermal springs are waiting to replenish and heal your body. "Screw the job and the money, I don't want to go back", you declare, after meeting some visitors who have stayed for more than 6 months before heading back to avoid the snowfall. 

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7. Take a bus to Rishikesh.

Inspired by the Beatles, you attend the ashram of Maharishi Mahash Yogi to do some transcendental meditation. Little did you know that it's been abandoned for years and has now become a part of the ecosystem. A grumpy guard stands outside, and accepts a small token to allow you inside. It's eerie and peaceful and you decide to meditate but the sounds of nature and creepy crawlies freak you out.

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Better to purify oneself in the holy Ganga, but the throng of pilgrims ready to dive in the cold water is even more disturbing. Okay, the hotel room shower it is.

Before leaving, you feel it's customary to click a selfie with a sadhu. 

8. Train to Varanasi.

A boat ride on the Ganges is a better idea than bathing in it. The sight of the sunset is captivating but cremations on Manikarnika Ghat are depressing. You've had enough of the rivers and now you're craving for the coastline.

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9. Flight to Mumbai and a bus to Goa.

You realise you're running low on funds, and trying to sell off what you already have is not going to fund your journey to go on. After hiring a shack on the beach, you join a group of hippies dancing, because apparently it's Carnival! You're trying desperately to mix Bollywood with Beyonce until your Bob Marley wig goes flying off. Oops, and you gave the impression that it's your hair. *awkward*

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10. Flight back home.

You're grumbling about getting back to the grind, but seriously you need the money to be a hippie again. God knows where the the future will take you!