The Awesomeness Of Being Fat

1. You get noticed. Do you see that shy guy sitting in that corner? Everyday after returning home, he cries his eyes out because nobody acknowledges his presence. People cannot ignore you. They make comments on your flab behind your back, but it only means you’re too hard to ignore. 

2. When you meet old friends after a long time, you wonder what really happened to them after seeing what they look like. But nobody tells you’ve gained more weight. That’s because you were fat, and you still are. You’re already where they are heading. You’re the rabbit who beat the much hyped slow-and-steady tortoise.

3. While others shiver to death in winters, you’re custom made for the coldest of weathers. You have an inbuilt coat of fat that keeps you warm and comfortable. Your body is naturally insulated from the cold.

4. You’ll never be kidnapped. Roam about on streets till as late as you can and you’re still safe. Abducting you would be too much of an effort for the kidnappers, and not many of them carry cranes along!

5. Talking of safety on roads, you’re safe in more ways than one. You can cross the busiest road with swag. The biggest of trucks would stop on their own. You can effortlessly survive accidents. Who wants to die colliding against you? 

6. Someone who hasn’t hugged you yet doesn’t know what a hug really is. A bear hug is what every girl craves for. How much fun can hugging a man with bones poking out of everywhere be? You’re the best huggers in the world.

7. Nobody can avail an eat-all-you-can buffet as wholly as you. Getting your money’s worth is something the world needs to learn from you!

8. As a kid, you were never expected to be good at sports. Imagine how much burden it took off your chest. You could spend all your time doing things you loved! And for those who were good at sports, remember how you stumped people just with your ability to hold a bat!

9. You’re the funny guy. You may think girls fish for the guy with the hottest body, but the truth is humour scores over biceps any day. They may ogle at him all day, but when they want to have a good time, you’re the one they come to. 

10. Scientifically, fat people can consume more alcohol than the lean ones! Now that is one good reason to be glad you’re fat. More beer equals more awesomeness! 

11. You’re sensitive. Because you know how it feels to be the one people make fun of, you’re considerate towards others. It’s another quality which is a rare find in most men. You’re also a better judge of people. 

12. You have every reason to be happy! You can eat whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like without batting an eyelid, which is probably why you are where you are. Your motto in life is not to look lean just to get everybody’s approval. You know you’re good the way you are and there is no way you’re going to stop hogging!